I Was Never Here
by Fyrewire
Summary: He couldn't stay there, he didn't belong there. He had to run, he had to find Toothless and get away from there. AU.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, but I would like your opinion on this fan fic.

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Life and happiness can give you the illusion of going on forever and ever… Until they stop.

Hiccup let out a frustrated huff of breath and lightly banged his head against his desk, why couldn't he have let Astrid have that one?

He knew why, because his dad had been there, because Astrid might have really hurt the dragon, because he liked the fact that he _finally_ had some respect around the village for once. Take your pick.

He wished he had been able to let it go. Then _she_ would be that one killing the dragon the next day and his conscious wouldn't be giving him hell.

No, that was a lie. Because no matter what happened, a dragon was going to die, and he wouldn't have stopped it from happening.

He raised his head and looked around the back room, Gobber had let him turn it into his own private workshop, and it was a nice place to think about everything wrong with his life.

His dagger on the table next to him sparkled in the candlelight, his dad had insisted on giving him a new one when he heard that Hiccup had 'lost' his. Well, sort of, it was a family heirloom apparently. The thought made him smile briefly before sliding off of his face as he picked up the cold weapon.

The dagger was interesting; along the blade a wave-like pattern was lightly carved in, only visible if it caught the light in the correct way. His father insisted that it was a battlefield advantage but Hiccup was fairly certain that it was just there because whichever of his ancestors had made it thought it looked nice. Along the hilt was a carving of a dragon and a single word, "Haddock."

He absently ran the dull part of the blade of the palm of his head, his thoughts flying through his head faster than Toothless flew through the night sky.

He couldn't try and reason with the tribe, he knew them better than to think that simple words could sway them into believing that dragons weren't their enemy. He couldn't even begin to think of a way to show them that without being branded as a traitor.

He scoffed slightly, twirling the dagger around in his hand. He doubted that his dad would care much for him once he found out that his 'dragon-slaying Viking son' was nothing more than a dragon-loving phony.

He involuntarily clenched his hand in a fist around the dagger blade, immediately letting out a hiss and his hand shooting back open.

On his palm were two parallel cuts, already bleeding and stinging enough to bring tears to his eyes from being exposed to the dusty shop air.

He slapped the dagger down on the table and scrambled around until he found a bandage. A few minutes later, he had the cuts tightly bound, blood slowly seeping into the bandage.

Grabbing some left over cloth, he wiped the blood off of his dagger. He absently blew some hair out of his eyes. What was he going to do?

He could see the events playing out in his mind, it was an extended version of previous nightmares he'd had to the same effect, had been having since he first bonded with Toothless.

He refused to fight, the village denounced him, his father refused to even acknowledge he was ever the son of the Great Stoick the Vast, they find Toothless. The story is different every time, but it always ends the same, he and Toothless are bound in the arena, and the Vikings show him exactly what they do to dragon lovers.

If he were in a particularly sadistic mood, than it was always Stoick himself who cast the final blow onto him, staring down at him with those empty, disappointed eyes.

Hiccup closed his eyes and set the dagger down on the table a bit harder than strictly necessary. He hung his head and asked himself once more, what was he going to do?

Sighing, he opened his eyes once more and looked around the room. Wallowing in self-pity while the night, and then next day, steadily approached would do him no good.

He looked around his workshop, various half-finished creations lay scattered around, and the only thing he had finished at all was the upgrade for Toothless' tail fin.

It was much better than the one Toothless had on his tail at that time, instead of the flimsy material it was made of slightly thinned leather, much closer to the texture of his real tail fin. And he had colored it black as well.

He paused as he looked over it, to the left of it was his bag, an idea began to form in his mind. It was stupid, and insane, and not at all thought out.

But, damn it all, it was the only idea he'd had thus far that he was sure might actually have a chance of working.

He grabbed his dagger and placed it in its sheath, having a weapon in the days to come was going to be useful.

The moon was high in the sky when Hiccup reached the cove, Toothless looked up as the young Viking entered.

"Okay, so, we're leaving," Hiccup said, hefting the load in his arms up with some difficulty before laying it out in front of Toothless. "I'm gonna need you to hold still buddy, I've got a few things that I'm going to need to strap on your back."

Toothless flared his nostrils indignantly.

"Hey, hey," Hiccup said, holding up his hands in a show of apology. "I'm _sorry_, but I cut down on everything that wasn't necessary and there's still quite a bit." He pointed through the pile. "I grabbed a few changes of clothes, some bandages and rags, a bucket, a shield, a few blank journals, some pencils, flint, your new tail prototype, and enough food to last me for a few days if I can't go hunting."

Toothless' ears went back and Hiccup got the distinct feeling that he was being frowned at, it was rather disconcerting to have a dragon, his best friend no less, give him that sort of feeling.

Hiccup sighed. "I know this seems like something stupid and reckless, and it is, but we need to get away from here." He paused, Toothless didn't budge.

He sighed. "Okay, if we don't leave now, then tomorrow I'll have to." He paused, groaning and running a hand over his face. "I'll have to kill a, a dragon."

Toothless growled. "But I don't _want_ to!" Hiccup added quickly, falling back onto the ground. "But if I _don't_ then I'm probably going to be _killed_!"

Toothless let out a snort. _You're exaggerating…_

"I'm not, you've seen what we- what _they're_ like, Toothless. You _know_ how important killing dragons is to them." He buried his face in his hands. "If we don't leave, then we're both dead. And even if they don't kill us, I don't think I could deal with whatever they did decide to do."

After a long few moments, he felt Toothless nudge him; he looked up.

The dragon touched his nose to Hiccup's forehead. _I will run with you, Hiccup. But only if you are sure._

Hiccup launched himself forward and wrapped his arms around Toothless' neck in a tight hug. "Thanks buddy," He murmured quietly. He didn't want to let go, but after a few moments he found himself pulling back.

It took only ten minutes to get everything ready, the bags tied to Toothless tight enough so that they wouldn't fall off and the new tailfin attached securely.

In all honesty it would have taken a lot less time, but Hiccup kept having to readjust the bags so that Toothless wouldn't have his flight pattern thrown off.

After everything was in place, Hiccup climbed onto his friend's back.

And then they were off.

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And that's the prologue, I've always been fascinated by the possibility of what might have happened if Hiccup had actually left, and this is my version.

Just to warn you, this will be going widely AU. And will be a Hiccup/OC story (I'm counting on you guys to tell me if she starts to be too Mary-Sueish)

Tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, but I would like your opinion on this fan fic.

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They flew high above the clouds, one dragon and one teenager pressed tightly to the dragon's back, the darkness of the night sky hiding them from wandering eyes as the teen's mind swirled full of questions that had no answers.

Where would they go? Was it the right thing? Would they ever return? How would they live?

Were they making a mistake?

His mind awhirl, Hiccup didn't even notice their descent until the dragon had landed on the ground.

"Wha-? Toothless?" He looked around, they were in a small field, trees surrounding them on all sides and sinister shadows lurking in the moonlight.

Hiccup slid off of his friend's back and walked around so they could look into each other's eyes.

The dragon flicked an ear and tilted his head; _you're having second thoughts._

"Only a little," Hiccup shrugged, and as the adrenalin coursing through his body slowed he became acutely aware of the chill that hung in the night air. It was supposed to be summer, dammit all. Toothless gave him a look so dry he felt the need to drink some water.

"Look," he said, crossing his arms over his chest, a bit defensively. "You can't just expect me to be fully behind this; it's a big decision, and I spent a lot of time thinking about it. I'm leaving behind everything I've ever known, everyone I love, because all I can think about these days is how much of a prison my life's become."

Hiccup placed his hand on Toothless's head and did his best to look the creature in the eye. "I don't take this decision lightly, Toothless. Yes, I even regret it a little and am trying _desperately_ not to think about how everyone is going to react." He leaned forward and hugged his friend. "But I've made my decision, and there's no going back on it." He tried his best to keep from looking like a scared, little, lost boy as he pulled back from the hug. But it was rather hard to hide anything from Toothless, especially when you were doing a horrible job of hiding it from yourself.

"C'mon," Hiccup said in what he hoped was an uplifting tone. "Let's get going." Before the dragon could try and press him for more of what he was feeling, Hiccup was on his back and urging him into the sky.

As they soared above the clouds, Hiccup kept a tight grip on both his bag and on Toothless, his knuckles were white from the exertion but he didn't care. Against every atom of effort he put into keeping his thoughts off of what he was leaving behind, his mind still wandered to different people. His father, Astrid, any of the other students, Gobber. His head was starting to hurt as every possibility of what would happen in the morning played through his head.

Each one had only one emotion encompassing it: rage, fear, sorrow, horror, happiness…

The last one was like a blow to his midsection every time it surfaced from the cyclone of his mind.

He hadn't left much information behind; he had made a point not to leave any behind, really. But the thought of it being discovered still lurked there. Maybe he'd forgotten one piece of paper with his sketches on, or he'd left some of the notes he'd kept about Toothless.

If they knew why he was leaving, would it change how they felt about it? Would they be sad that he had fallen in with dragons, or happy that he was out of their hair?

Millions of what-ifs swirled in his mind, and he knew that the last thing he should be doing was dwelling on them.

But still…

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, forcing his mind to go blank, losing himself in the sensation of flight.

There would be plenty of time for worrying in the future. Right then at that moment, they had to run. Or rather, fly.

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Okay, first let me say thank you to you all for reading my story, I really like knowing that people are enjoying things I write.

Second, I feel that I should explain a few things:

-I have not read the books the movie was based off of, I've been meaning to but things keep getting in the way.

-The way Hiccup understands Toothless is a bit hard to explain, he's not actually hearing his thoughts (although I might explore that idea later) but interpreting what he does, the italics are what he translates. This is why I usually put an action in conjunction with Toothless "Speaking"

-There are two ways for the story to go, I'm still working out which one I'll use. One is that he's gone for ten years, is married and has a daughter when his path finally starts crossing with the vikings again. The other is that he's gone for three to five years and comes back to Berk with Toothless and his love interest (I really need to come up with a name for her) to try and stop the war with the dragons. I'll figure it out. Hopefully. Each have their pros and cons. Maybe I'll write both.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, but I would like your opinion on this fan fic.

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Two weeks, it had been two very long weeks since Hiccup and Toothless has fled from Berk, and Hiccup was beginning to get tired of the constant traveling.

There was nothing wrong with it, but he hadn't realized how much he was used to the comforts of living in a village until he'd been without it for so long, with the only thoughts related to home about how he couldn't go back.

That morning, the duo found themselves stretched out in a clearing under the sun. Winter would be coming, and they wanted to get whatever warmth they could before the sky froze.

The leaves on the trees were just starting to change color, painting the woods around them with red, brown, and yellow. And the air smelt crisp, like whatever had been baking during the summer was finally cooling.

Next to Hiccup, Toothless let out a low, rumbling growl as he stretched in a way that reminded the teenager of some cats he'd seen wandering Berk when he was younger. It was a rather impressive feat considering the dragon was stretched out on his back.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, because that was the only place he could afford to think of it, he got the sensation that he should have felt something when he thought of Berk, some sort of feeling of longing or regret. But whenever he thought of it, he felt a niggling emptiness, something that should have been there wasn't.

Hiccup yawned and glanced at his companion, who appeared to be lost in his own world as the sun warmed him and soft purrs drifted over towards the human.

A thought wondering how dragons could purr drifted into his mind, and within moments he had forced all thoughts of Berk out of his head and instead chose to belly-crawl the three feet to his oblivious companion.

He pushed himself onto his knees and, before he could consider all the ways it could possibly go wrong, placed both hands on Toothless' belly and started scratching.

The results were instantaneous, the dragon's eyes snapped open and he did a rather impressive flip to get out of Hiccup's reach, landing in a crouch and a look in his eyes that would have struck fear into the heart of the toughest Viking.

Hiccup being Hiccup, merely laughed, falling backwards with a loud 'thump' and clutching his stomach.

Once Toothless saw that he was not, in fact, under attack from some mysterious enemy that chose to attack by basis of 'scratchies' he came out his attack stance and sauntered over to Hiccup with as much dignity as he could manage. Hiccup laughed even harder.

It was all fine and dandy, up until they heard the sounds of people out in the woods.

Hiccup immediately shut up, motioning for Toothless to hide. The dragon was in a tree in the time it would take someone to blink.

Hiccup's hand went to his dagger instinctively, he didn't know who was approaching, or even if they would be interested in him or just let him pass by, but he wasn't going to pull his weapon first and be seen as a threat.

Briefly, he had to reassure himself that they were on a different continent from Berk and the odds of the Vikings having trailed them there and found him in some random clearing were so impossible that they didn't even register on any sort of scale.

Still, Hiccup was tense and prepared to run when the group entered the clearing.

His eyes darted over them as quickly as a field mouse could dart through the clearing. There were five of them, obviously not Vikings if the way they dressed and the general lack of girth were anything to go by, and they were staring at him as if to ask him why he wasn't a deer.

After a few minutes that were spent with each trying to assess the threat of the other, one of the men stepped forward. Hiccup pulled his dagger halfway out of its sheath before he could even think, and immediately cursed himself when the noise drew all of the mens' eyes to his hip. He apparently had a death wish.

"Who are you?" He asked, Hiccup noted that the man's voice was rough, as if he'd gone without a drink since that morning. But there was something about the man that didn't make him threatening, it might have been the way he stood before the teenager without making a move to harm him, it might have been the way his hands didn't even so much as twitch towards his crossbow when he saw Hiccup's knife.

Or maybe that was just the sort of man he was, Hiccup wouldn't have been surprised if the man turned out to be the leader of whatever sort of community these men lived in.

Slowly, while never breaking eye contact with the man in front of him, Hiccup slid his dagger back into its sheath.

The men behind the leader all went for their weapons when the noise echoed through the clearing, but were stopped by a quick hand motion from the man in front.

A silence descended on them as Hiccup held his hands away from his body, away from any weapons he might have had on his person. It was rather like when he'd met Toothless, he supposed, you had to gain their trust, had to show them that you wouldn't be the first one to attack.

"Hiccup," he finally said after moments where the tension was thick enough in the air that it clouded his vision. "My name is Hiccup Haddock."

Ten minutes later, he found himself being led into a village, Toothless somewhere behind him, and a new life somewhere ahead.

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Thanks for all the favs/comments/alerts, I love you all.


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